Danielle Moga

Perfection is a terrible obstacle that prevents you from living to your potential.  The need to always be 100% perfect is exhausting, not to mention an unattainable harsh standard.

Perfection prevents progress!

As someone who has consistently aspired for perfection and suffered the consequences, trust me when I say I’m a self-proclaimed expert on what NOT to do. It’s great to aspire for greatness, but if you can’t seem to move forward and make progress or if you are not going after you want because you are afraid of being judged, that’s the wrong mindset. Holding back prevents you from growing, learning, and experiencing growth that may improve your overall quality of life.

Maybe you believe people will like you more, or you’ll be the go-to, if you are perfect.  Whatever the reason, pushing yourself to be perfect is doing more harm than good. Perfection is like a four-letter word; it really shouldn’t be used; it’s a standard that’s not attainable and prevents your progress and negatively impact all areas of your life.

PERFECTION AND RELATIONSHIPS – Perfection kills relationships.

Have you ever been in a relationship where nothing you said or did was good enough?

Early in my life, I was in a significant relationship where comparison was the norm, and I was never able to measure up to the ideals he had in his mind.   To much time spent competing against unrealistic expectations; over time, it wore me down. If the person you’re interested in doesn’t check all the boxes or there’s that one thing that nags you, it may be challenging to get beyond that judgment.  You may feel like “the thing” is not a big deal, but trust me, if it’s a nagging thought in the back of your mind or if “it” keeps coming up in conversations, do yourself a favor and have the conversation.  Avoiding these issues they will rear their ugly head when you least expect it like a monster in the closet that haunts you. If you can overcome the challenge, great, but if not, you may need to let go of the relationship. Don’t hang on for the sake of hanging on. The one that doesn’t light your fire may be the eternal flame for another. Expecting perfection in a relationship is unrealistic and set’s each of you up for disappointment.

Perfection with a child can be complete devastation. You’ll pass on feelings of inferiority inadequacy and the belief that unconditional love is non-existent. Someone very close to me, regardless of what he did, was always compared against his siblings. Whether it was school, the way he dressed, the way he kept his room, his friends, grades, career choice, or income, he never measured up, and that impacts him and the way he sees himself to this day. Even now, as an adult, the need for perfection affects the way he interacts with others and has negatively impacted his relationships. 

It’s ok to have high standards and strive for continuous improvement, but when we hold ourselves back for fear of being judged or not being good enough, that’s a problem. We were all made to be something beautiful. We are divinely made beings and have incredible gifts to offer the world by just being ourselves.

Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are made to be.

PERFECTION AT WORK – Perfection eliminates opportunity.

Have you ever been in a meeting and not contributed?

Were you scared? Did you think everyone in the room was going to stop, stare, point, and laugh at you? I have, and I could kick myself. Instead of speaking up, I sat there contemplating, and during my hesitation, someone else brought up the same idea. It was like the universe had given me this fantastic idea; I didn’t grab it, so it went to the next person in the queue. If you’re holding back, you are not showing your true abilities.

Earlier in my career, I was in a role at a large organization surrounded by people that were a few steps ahead of me on the corporate ladder. Sitting there, listening to them trying to solve a problem was painful. They were unaware of the dynamics of the situation and couldn’t see the root problem. As a result, they couldn’t assess accurately or come up with a realistic solution. I sat listening with a host of solutions swirling in my head; my heart was racing, sweat starting to bead, thinking this is so simple, why can’t they figure out the answer.

Fear stood in the way, I never said anything and left frustrated instead of proud for helping to create a solution.  What if I had presented a solution? What if I was able to break down the root problem and offer recommendations?

Maybe that would’ve been a game-changer for me, perhaps that would’ve been an opportunity for a new project or a new role.

Don’t hold back. We are all so afraid of being judged, looking stupid, being silly, but honestly, what’s the worst that’s going to happen. Chances are they may have looked at me stunned that I had spoken, but that may have led to a few more questions and potential solutions.  Take a chance, and don’t hold yourself back. Most likely, there will be others in the room that agree with you. Sometimes it’s about planting a seed and waiting for the right opportunity for it to flourish. It’s always about getting to results, and the more you focus on helping and providing value, the easier it will be to contribute.

“Perfection is the Enemy of Progress”  Winston Churchill